"Hell is where the heart is."
After a while, don't you get sick of there being so many "you"s and not knowing what to do with them? It's hard to decide which is more annoying, not having a stable sense of self or struggling to come up with a way to find it.
Yet saying "this is definitely me" is not helpful when you're not sure if it's true or not. I have accepted that discovering who I really am is an ongoing journey, and that's okay!
But I'm dragging you, my grunts, along for the ride.
I want to approach this differently than I have in the past. I'll let you truly get to know the man behind the ever-rotating avatars, because you deserve that. Here in this little corner of Bulbagarden, I have ground my fears to dust.
I may not know my true form yet, and I know not how much skin I have left to shed, but I will stay as true to myself here as I can.
So, why not start with an introduction?
If you know me, you've seen me around as guzmania (as in, the flower from which Guzma Pokémon's name is derived from). You may or may not know my real name, which is Felix. I'm a fairly average guy, except for when I'm not. I like weightlifting and writing fanfic about heavy topics and hacking the living daylight out of things. I'm from Chicago. I have three dogs, despite being allergic to them. I have a soda addiction that I'm trying to kick. Pokémon is always near and dear to me, but I tend to accidentally advertise my hyperfixations as they come and go.
But I'm not gonna tell you everything right now, because where's the fun in that?
I'll be updating this every so often (a minimum of once a week) with the latest news and fun facts, because if you're reading this, I probably would consider you to be my friend or at least a good acquaintance, so why not share stuff with you? At the very least... you can all get to know me better, which is what I'd love for you to do, and if you want to drop in and say hi, maybe I'll learn something about you in turn.
(Which leads me to the next thing -- if you wanna comment on something, ask a question, or whatever else comes to mind, do it! Don't be shy; at least part of me is ultimately a social creature, and I love love love interacting with others. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. Roads go both ways! I don't wanna talk at you, I wanna talk with you. So, go on, as long as you want to.)
This isn't really just a blog or an AMA or whatever. It's a whole journey. And anyone who wants to take it with me is invited.
ONE WEEK!!
Okay, that's a lie. Kind of. But also not really. Once today wraps up, there will be seven more days of classes for me to attend before this semester (and all the pain that comes with it) comes to a close. But that doesn't account for the weekends, so it's really like, nine days. But it equates to a week straight of class, so, one week. Right?
(Close enough...)
As excited as I am to break free for the twoish months allotted to me, I'm also burdened with this little sense of dread, because this is my Last Ever summer break, which is obviously terrifying and I fear is going to weigh on me the whole time. Also the whole "egads! My last ever and I don't even know how to spend it" thing.
But there's not really a concrete answer to that, you know? Realistically speaking, I will roll with the punches and wait to see what each day brings, but I have a bad habit of living in the future and thus my anxiety is giving me a pretty hard time regarding this situation.
Well hey. I have a therapist for a reason. I'll see her in two weeks from this Saturday! That's a great thing!
(Not the wait, but she's entitled to a vacation every so often.)
To sate myself in the meantime, I have decided to come up with a list of goals for the summer.
So far, it looks like this:
1. Improve at art
Alright, I know that this is a REALLY underwhelming-looking list of goals, considering it's actually only one goal, but I assure you it is a more difficult task than it seems, primarily because I absolutely suck at art and I'm going to have to haul ass to reach "mildly presentable" status by the end of summer, which is what I would like to do.
Yet! I know with the appropriate amount of hard work and practice, I can do it. Because that's how humans work; when you work hard and practice, you improve at things. So what if I'll have to work harder and practice more than most? It'll be worth it! Worth it for the sake of figuring out how shoulders work!!
I will show you all the fruit of my labor, but only when the appropriate time comes, which will probably be at least a few months from now. Though I am half-tempted to post some of my current pieces here, if not just so I can mock them unrelentingly while you all read my scathing reviews in varying states of discomfort. But bringing people discomfort isn't what I have in mind, and I can't quite help myself when it comes to bullying my artwork, so refrain I shall.
As for my next subject of the day.
Does anyone else here really love Gen 6?!
Because I really love Gen 6
Remember, everyone, it brought us the following things:
- Professor Sycamore
- Mega Evolution
- which also means Mega Absol, Audino, Lopunny, Altaria, and Beedrill specifically
- the Poké-Amie
- Sylveon
- Hoenn 3D remakes
- the DexNav Plus and all of the wonderful, wonderful things that came with it
- the introduction of Lisia and Zinnia (admittedly into a world that they are too good for)
- Hoenn revisit
[*]Hoenn
[*]3D Steven (whom I love)
[*]the rest of the Hoenn cast also in 3D. I love the Hoenn cast, but especially Steven - Wallace's awesome fucking redesign
- Swirlix
- the overall highest-quality Fire starter line
- Contest Spectaculars
- Mega Absol, which is worth mentioning twice
- THE FAIRY TYPE, HELLO?!
- Team Magma/Aqua's A+ makeovers
- Lumiose City... no, I didn't play XY on launch, how could you tell?
- the best character (OUTFIT) customization in the series
- absolutely gorgeous music
- the ability to bike in Pacifidlog Town
- Hoenn again, but specifically a version of Hoenn where you can use Pokémon from Gens 4-6 which have some of the best ones
- man, do you remember when Skitty was part of the regional dex? I miss those days. Luckily it's right here in Gen 6!
- Wally! Such an awesome new addition to the storyli- wait, you mean he was in the originals as well? Nonsense! Why don't you go ahead and prove... oh, he was... huh, weird.
- (Wally becoming more relevant to the game)
- the nerfing of the Steel type
- wait no, that's not a good thing, I fucking love the Steel type. At least it's strong against Fairy types. Wait no, that's not a good thing either, I fucking love Fairy types.
- ...more balanced gameplay
- the introduction of the EXP share, which I maintain is a GREAT thing. Blame LGPE for making it mandatory, not XY.
- also XY in general, Kalos is great!
- definitely not the Furfrou puzzle though
- awesome transitions to 3D for the most part! Lovely new sprites for almost everyone.
I'm looking for people who like XY and ORAS... I really love XY and ORAS. I forgot what this post was about, actually. A little help, pretty please?
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